The Bully
by Lorelai.lilith
Summary: A parody fic of a Spongebob episode. When the new student Ultear arrives at driving school, Juvia becomes her prey. Can Juvia escape without getting her butt kicked? Also, Natsu beats up an old man!


Greetings to those reading this. This is going to be my second attempt at a parody fic which will be based around an early episode of the Spongebob cartoon with the characters of Fairy Tail instead. Do take your time reading it so you can enjoy it please. Much like last time, you may comment freely as long as you're polite if you're going to be writing a negative review. I'll also be checking in to make corrections so feel free to point out errors of spelling and grammar if you want to. Enjoy the fic.

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><p><strong><em>"The Bully"<em>**

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><p>The day was rather nice and sunny, great for those out to enjoy it while it was boring for those having to do something else. One such case was at 'Mrs. Mirajane's Driving School' where many students were dozing off or already asleep as they wait for their teacher to arrive. The only think keeping them awake and alert was the annoying sound catching their attention which was being emitted from a blue-haired woman named Juvia Lockser who was rearranging the contents on her desk. Three pencils and a notebook, she keep picking up a pencil and moving it on one side of the notebook or the other as if looking for the right way to have them placed.<p>

She would look satisfied for a moment after setting one into a new spot only to switch to a concerned look as she would again pick one up and place it elsewhere. The sounds of pencils hitting the table again and again were clearing annoying her classmates but she didn't seem to notice herself. Looking closer at her desk one could see that her pencils were labelled 'Homework','Quiz', and 'Essay' individually, likely the reason for her need to organize. After a few more switches she decides to get some advice and leans over to the person next to her. "Excuse me..."

"Do I have to report on you again?" Her fellow classmate being a purple-haired girl named Laki Olietta asked in reply. Juvia had a habit of being annoying to her classmates and Laki was mainly that one reporting this behavior whenever it was getting too serious. She was also clearly annoyed with Juvia having to sit right next to her during her 'activity'. Juvia just gives a giggle and waves a hand as if blowing off the question.

"No, Juvia just has a question." She looks back to her desk as she looks over her contents. "Should Juvia keep her Homework pencil to the left of the notebook next to the Quiz pencil, or should it be on the right side all by itself. But then where should the Essay pencil go..." She trails off into bunch of questions about her predicament while Laki grows more irritated by the minute. "You want to know what I think?" she replies. "I think that best spot for them would be shoved up your..."

"Juvia has it!" Juvia exclaims suddenly, cutting of Laki before she could finish her inappropriate response. "The Quiz pencil will sit to the right of the notebook with Essay pencil, leaving the Homework pencil to the left by itself. Then the Essay pencil is turned to be pointed at the notebook itself. That way Juvia is prepared if she has to write an Essay during class." Laki gives off a sigh, glad that the ordeal is over at least and around that time the door to the class opens as a young white-haired woman enters the class, being the teacher Mirajane Strauss or 'Mrs Mirajane' as she was called often.

"Good morning class!" she greets with a cheerful tone. "Sorry I'm late. I got caught up in traffic and then there was this one jerk that cut me off which I couldn't let him get away with it. I swear, some people these days are just so..." She trails off when she notices her class couldn't care less about why she was late so clears her throat up. "Anyways, we also got a new student joining us so please put on a happy face for Ultear Milkovich." She opens the door again as a black-haired woman enters the class whom everyone greets by clapping and wearing paper masks painted with happy faces.

"Well then Ultear, tell us about yourself." Mirajane encourages while Ultear seems to think for a moment. "Well..." she begins. "I like to kick people's butts." she finishes with a black expression while sounding serious. Mirajane simply laughs and claps to Ultear's response, thinking she was being funny. "What a card! Anyway, it's time for you to pick your seat so go ahead and sit anywhere you like." Upon hearing this all the students move aside, leaving only Juvia and an empty desk next to her which Ultear decides to take as she chooses her spot. As Mirajane begins the lesson Juvia decides introduce herself to the new girl.

"Hi, I'm Juvia." she greets as she leans closer and whispers to Ultear. "Hi Juvia. I'm going to kick your butt." Ultear replies, bringing out a giggle from Juvia who also thinks Ultear was being funny. "That joke was almost funnier the second time!" she replies. However instead of smiling and giving acknowledgement to her statement, Ultear leans up close to Juvia so that they're face to face, wearing a serious expression while glaring at the giggling woman. "No... I mean it!" she replies once more before backing up, but Juvia still wasn't convinced. "Wow, that time it really seemed like Ultear..."

She trails off as Ultear gives her an evil expression while raising up her arm, showing a fair amount of armpit hair which she grabs with her other hand and rips it off in one move, the words 'I Mean It!' left on the bare skin now. Juvia's now wearing a horrified expression as she gulps and sweats a little. "U-Ultear really did mean it..." She then quickly raises her hand and calls out for the teacher. "Mrs. Mirajane!" Mirajane turns back to look at Juvia with a curious look. "What is it Juvia?"

"Can Juvia be excused from the class for the rest of her life?" Juvia asked with fear in her voice but Mirajane doesn't notice and simply laughs as if it's a joke. "Sorry Juvia, but not right now. I'm in the middle of a big lesson right now and you couldn't afford to miss this information so pay close attention okay?" she asks while Juvia simply nods to say she understands. "Juvia understands. Sorry Mrs. Mirajane." She lowers her hand and looks depressed, glancing to her side as she sees Ultear smiling at her. Not the friendly kind of smile either.

"Alright class, I need a volunteer to come up to the board please. How about you Ultear?" Mirajane asks to which Ultear gets up and walks up to the board while Mirajane hands her a piece of chalk. "Now please draw a diagram of a basic four-way intersection." Ultear complies as she appears to be drawing something on the chalkboard, soon putting down the piece of chalk. "Alright, now will you show everyone what you drew please?" Mirajane says to which Ultear turns around and steps to the side to show her drawing. Juvia lets out a startled gasp when she sees the drawing on the board.

It wasn't a four-way intersection that was drawn on the chalkboard, it was a picture of Ultear beating up Juvia and Juvia was looking beat up pretty badly. She really was going to kick Juvia's butt! However, Mirajane claps and smiles, obvious to the hostile message being displayed. "Splendid! Very creative and nicely drawn. We've got an artist in the classroom!" Ultear smiles while everyone in the class joins in the clapping except for Juvia who gets out of her desk and runs out the door in a panic.

**0o0o0o0o0**

Juvia runs through the halls of the school in panic, dashing into the nearest safe haven which was the women's restroom. From there she enters a stall and hides in the toilet itself with the lid closed as she sits in the water, curled up as she tries to comprehend what was going on. "Juvia doesn't understand. Why does Ultear want to kick Juvia's butt? Juvia hasn't said two words to Ultear..." She pauses as she has a quick flashback.

_"Hi, I'm Juvia." she greets as she leans closer and whispers to Ultear._

Juvia counts on her fingers the number of words she's said. "One, two... oh no, that's three words! Juvia said three words to Ultear! What will Juvia do now?" She tenses up as she hears someone enter the bathroom and their footsteps approaching the stall. "Oh no, someone is in here! They're getting closer! That's it! Juvia just has to act natural." As the toilet lid comes up, a green-haired woman named Bisca Mulan looks down to see what looks like a lot of curly blue hair floating in the toilet. "Oh, that's just great..." she mutters as she leaves to find a cleaner stall.

Juvia's head pops out of the toilet seconds later, looking relieved. "Whew, for a second Juvia thought that was..." Just then Ultear walks into the stall, making Juvia freak out as she says her name. "Ultear!" She then puts on a nervous chuckle and smile. "H-Hi there, has Ultear kicked any good butts lately? Juvia remembers kicking this one girl's butt last week really good and while getting her butt kicked she leans over to Juvia and says 'life is like a bucket of wood shavings', except when the shavings are in a pail then it's like a pail of wood shavings." she gives a nervous giggle while Ultear looks confused and dumbfounded over what she just heard.

"You know, that story says something to me." she finally says. Juvia raises a brow looking curious. "Really? What's it telling Ultear?" she asks, only to have Ultear glaring at her while pointing a finger at her. "It says now, I'm going to kick your butt twice as hard." She then leaves the stall while Juvia simply flushes the toilet she was it, letting the water flood out onto the ground while more pours out from under her hat...

**0o0o0o0o0**

Juvia was now just walking slowly through the hall of the school, writing her will into the notebook she brought with her figuring she only had a few hours left at most. "So, Juvia's dishes will go to Lucy, Gajeel can have whatever metal stuff is left over and... " She throws her arms up as she breaks down. "Oh dear Mavis! Why Juvia? Juvia never did anything to deserve this!" Her thoughts are interrupted by a phone ringing nearby which she decides to answer having nothing else to do. "Death row, next in line speaking..." She says in a gloomy tone.

"Hi, I'd like to place an order for a delivery please." Juvia's eyes widen as she recognizes the voice over the phone. "Meredy? Is that you?" On the other end of the line was a pink-haired girl that was one of Juvia's friends who happened to call the school by mistaking the number for a pizza place. "Yeah Mario, it's me. I'd like to order a large pizza with double olives, double..." She gets cut off when Juvia interrupts. "Meredy, it's Juvia!"

"Juvia? I didn't know you're working at Pizza Castle now." Meredy's voice sounded confused as Juvia groans. "No! Juvia is at school and in big trouble! Juvia needs Meredy's help! There's a new girl at school that wants to beat up Juvia and Juvia is helpless!" She calms a bit before continuing. "Meredy is a tough girl, can't Meredy come here and give the new girl a rough up, just to make her leave Juvia alone? Please! Juvia is really scared, so much that Juvia is feeling really queasy right now and might throw up!" She hopes for a 'yes' but gets confused when it sounds like Meredy is talking to someone else. "Meredy? Hello?"

"Sorry Juvia, I've got a guest visiting me right now, an old community college gal, Ultear." Juvia could've sworn her heart stopped beating when she froze upon hearing that sentence. Sure enough though, Ultear was at Meredy's place enjoying a beverage while Meredy was talking to Juvia the whole time. "I just bumped into her by chance at a convenience store, isn't that funny? It's been years since we've seen or spoke and things haven't changed a bit. Anyways, I need to hang up so I can order that pizza. Ultear needs to go back to school soon, she's says it's about kicking somebody's butt." Juvia drops the phone and runs away screaming in fear, leaving the phone hanging and still on. "Hello? Are you there Juvia?" Meredy asked.

Meanwhile, Mirajane was passing the time reading a book while her class was out when a loud scream is heard coming her way, followed by a loud crash that startles her and makes her look toward the door where she sees Juvia's face pressing against the window in the door. "You may come in Juvia." The doorknob clicks and the door swings inward with Juvia stuck to it still, eventually unsticking and falling onto her back where she looks up to Mirajane. "Mrs. Mirajane, can Juvia move to a different class?"

"A different class? Why Juvia?" Mirajane looked confused.

"Juvia can't say it."

"Why not?"

"It can't be said. Juvia's physical being is at stake here, can't we leave it at that?"

"Juvia, you can tell me anything, you need to know that."

"Well, okay... but Mrs. Mirajane can't tell anyone else."

"If that's what you want then I promise it'll be between us only."

"Well, Ultear says that she's going to kick Juvia's butt..."

"What?" Mirajane looks shocked at hearing that then she glares at the words she just heard. "There will be no butt-kicking in any class of mine! This an adult program, not elementary school! Don't worry Juvia, I'll take care of it for you." the look of determination she made brought ease to Juvia as she smiles back to her teacher. "Thank you Mrs. Mirajane. Juvia really can trust Mrs. Mirajane."

**0o0o0o0o0**

Believing the ordeal to be over now, Juvia was able to enjoy her lunch in peace during break time. She finishes up just as the bell rings to tell everyone to go back to class. As she head back to class Mirajane is waiting by the door, waving over to her quickly. "Was lunch okay Juvia?" She asked to which Juvia nodded. "It was great Mrs. Mirajane." she replied, quite content. Before she can enter the class though Mirajane leans in to whisper to her. "By the way I talked to Ultear for you. I also used your name. It turns out the whole thing was a big misunderstanding." At this Juvia's happy position switched back to the one of panic she was enduring earlier. "Wait, What?" she shouted, terrified.

"Ultear wasn't really going to kick your butt in the sense of hurting you Juvia. It turns out she's from a town where 'kicking your butt' means she just wants to be your friend and maybe spend some time with you on weekends." Mirajane explains with a smile. Behind her though Ultear was smiling evilly at Juvia while she made a statue of her out of the ground and started beating on it to prove her original point. Juvia, seeing all that, was looking nervous while Mirajane was talking to her. "J-Juvia doesn't feel too good..." With that she runs again, this time heading off of the school grounds and is cut short when she crashes into a car, knocking herself to the ground.

Groaning, she looks up to see someone sitting in the call who looked a lot like Ultear only her hair was much shorter. "Um, pardon Juvia but are you Ultear's mom?" She stands up again while the woman looks to her and smiles. "That's correct, my names Ur so what can I do for you?" Juvia gives a sigh of relief, finding someone that can be of actual help. "Thank Mavis, Juvia couldn't find anyone else! Juvia's friend Meredy wasn't any help and Mrs. Mirajane only made things worse! Juvia sits with Ultear in class and she's a fine woman in class but she wants to kick Juvia's butt!" she explains the situation.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Ultear suddenly appears in the car next to Ur who to Juvia's surprise straightens and looks slightly worried. "N-nothing dear." she says, looking nervous around her daughter. Juvia certainly never seen a parent that was nervous around their own child. "What did I tell you about talking to strangers?" Ultear says in a firm voice, suddenly sounding like an adult while Ur leans over to Juvia. "Now she's going to kick my butt!" she says, looking afraid herself which sends Juvia into a panic as she begins to run again while screaming.

Now Juvia was running through town, drawing attention to herself by her screaming and yelling. "Out of Juvia's way! Out of Juvia's way! Can't you see she's going to kick Juvia's butt?" she yells while pointing backward. The people follow her finger only to land their eyes on a short old man named Makarov Dreyar sitting on a bus stop. "Hello there. Nice day today isn't it?" He says. With the lost translation of Juvia's frantic yelling everyone thought it was the old man picking on the poor young woman. "So you like kicking butts do you? Well, we'll show you old man!" shouted a pink-haired boy named Natsu Dragneel as he leads everyone else to gang up on the innocent old man.

Juvia soon ducks into a nearby alleyway, hiding herself inside a trash can as she races thoughts in her head. She peaks out to look around as she weights her options. "That's it. Juvia has to skip to a new town and go by a new name. Hm, Viaser Julock, yes that works. Getting married, having two kids, growing Juvia's hair out then cutting it down, then Juvia will live happily ever after." She completes her train of thought finding it to be a good plan. "Yeah, that sounds perfect but you left out one important part." Juvia turns around and freezes up as she sees the source of the voice.

Ultear was smiling while sitting inside of a garbage truck that was parked just next to Juvia. "You left out the part where I kicked your butt." she finishes, causing Juvia to gasp several times before she began running again. Keeping the trash can on her she ran down the center of the street while Ultear drove after her, wearing an evil grin on her face as she laughed. While running various pieces of trash fall out of the can, one of them being a banana peel which makes Ultear scream in horror as she sees it. Unable to avoid it in time the garbage truck touches the peel and flips upside down in the air before crashing onto it's back...

**0o0o0o0o0**

Ultear groans as she opens her eyes, the first thing she sees is Juvia standing there with a bouquet of flowers. "Hi Ultear, you feeling better?" she asked, seeming concerned for the well-being of the woman despite what she planned on doing. Ultear looks around, realizing she was in a bed with a everything except her face in a cast. "What? where am I?" she speaks, seeming confused. "You're in the hospital of course." Said the doctor that appeared next to Juvia, a pink-haired woman named Virgo, smiling as she patted Juvia on the shoulder. "This young woman here saved your life. She performed CPR on you for over 5 hours straight."

Juvia nods in agreement, seeming a bit embarrassed as well. "They told Juvia that Ultear would be fine after the first few minutes but Juvia wanted to be sure." Ultear gives a smile, a thankful one instead of the evil one from earlier. "Wow, I'm really touched by that. I'll make sure to remember that while I'm kicking your butt." That sentence once again drove Juvia back into the panic she had been suffering from all day. "Hey, are those flowers for me?" Ultear adds, looking at the bouquet with a smile.

Juvia runs out of the hospital screaming like before as she ran through town. "Out of Juvia's way! She's still going to kick Juvia's butt!" Watching her run by Natsu grows angry again as he turns back to Makarov. "How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man?" Makarov simply sits there with a smile while he's surrounded once again. "Ah, I love the young people." He comments before getting his butt kicked by an angry mob once more.

Juvia eventually runs all the way back home and shuts the door behind, leaning against it as she catches her breathe. "Why! Juvia is too young to have her butt kicked! There's so many things in life Juvia still wants to do!" She then imagines herself working in an office at a desk, talking on the phone. "Hang on and Juvia will transfer your call!" she says with a cheerful voice. Her imagination gets interrupted when she hears a knocking on the door, making her move away from it. "Who is it?" She asks curiously. She receives her answer as the door is busted down, a fully recovered Ultear standing behind it with a raised foot.

"Ultear!" Juvia screams in panic as the woman walks into the doorway. "It's butt-kicking time." Ultear responds while beating her fist into her palm. Juvia could only back up slowly, trembling too much to attempt to run away anymore. Ultear cracks her fingers against each other with makes Juvia gasp. She then pulls out a nutcracker that she wraps around her fingers and squeezes to crack them even more, building up tension in Juvia as she gasps again and starts breathing harder. She then pulls out a cup of water and a toothbrush, brushing her teeth for a minute before gargling the water and spitting it off to the side. This causes Juvia to breath rapidly, nearly hyperventilating. "Let's do this!" Ultear smiles, finally ready to get it on. "Are you ready?"

Juvia holds out a hand. "Hold on please." She then pulls out a blindfold and ties it around her eyes, not willing to watch it but resigning to taking it. "Okay, Juvia is ready." Smiling, Ultear pulls back her arm and throws a punch which she aims at Juvia's stomach to start. What happens though is her fist sinks in as the area she hits turns into water and recovers, leaving Juvia unharmed and Ultear confused. "Juvia said she was ready." Juvia says again, not realizing she took the hit. Ultear growls and pulls her arm back again as she throws another punch which has the same effect as before.

"Didn't Ultear hear Juvia? Juvia said she was ready?" Juvia raises her blindfold, looking at Ultear confused and watches her throw the next punch though this time she giggles when she feels it. "That tickles Juvia." She starts laughing more while Ultear starts getting furious and is now punching her rapidly with both fists, the blows not effecting Juvia no matter where they hit. She was grunting with each punch as if it'll work but it wasn't helping. Meanwhile, Juvia was amazed at what was going on. "Incredible, Juvia's body is absorbing that blows as if she was made of some type of liquid..." she smiles, finally at peace.

"Juvia gets to live to see tomorrow!" she cries out. The next day she was working at her part-time job while Ultear was still with her, still punching at her as she refused to give up. This continued as Juvia played Go Fish with Meredy, went hunting for butterflies, talking a bath, going to sleep, eating breakfast in the morning. The entire time Ultear was punching her furious as she was trying to kick Juvia's butt. Finally it was time for driving school again as Juvia sits at her desk waiting for the teacher to arrive.

At this point Ultear was finally coming to a stop as she was slowing down, panting heavily and looking worn at as her swings moved slowly and miss Juvia completely. Finally she groans as she passes out on the floor, causing Juvia to look concerned for her. "Ultear? Are you okay?" The class started cheering and clapping for her as she stood up to the bully but Juvia stands up and gets them to stop. "Don't cheer classmates, the real victim here was Ultear. Ultear was the victim of a society riding down a road of violence into nowhere. A road simply referred to as 'Violence Road'." she explains, clenching a fist as she does.

About then Mirajane walks into the room late again. "Sorry about being late class, I was..." she suddenly gasps and looks horrified as she looks at Juvia's fist and Ultear lying on the ground, coming to a conclusion on the spot. "Juvia!" she yells, startling the woman as she marches over to her. "I can't believe you just beat up a new student! I'm going to kick your butt!" Juvia gulps as she sinks back into her seat. "Oh Mavis..."

_**The End**_

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><p>That ends my second parody fic. Again, to clear up some stuff the title of the spongebob episode was 'The Bully' so you can look it up on Bing and find it if you want to watch it. Again, I didn't describe the characters much since I'm assuming you know who they are already. If not find a wikia if you will or something. Finally, for character selection...<p>

Juvia: The only one I could find that is immune to hits generally. Plus can imagine her hiding in a toilet easily and I lover her third person way of speaking.

Ultear, Meredy, and Ur: These three play an important role of connections. Needed someone who could be a friend of both Juvia and Ultear and Meredy fit there while Ultear is also one of the few characters with a known parent so with her mother in as well that makes Ultear the bully.

Mirajane: Can see her as a kind teacher but sort of oblivious to what's going on as well.

Laki, Bisca, Natsu, Makarov, Virgo: All mostly added in for story improvement and thus random though I can imagine Natsu being one to get people to gang up on someone else and liked Makarov being the oblivious innocent old man. Also like the thought of Virgo as a doctor.

By the way, I'll be using 'Mavis' in the place of God in these parody fics from now on. Like it a lot myself.

That's the last of it. Hope those of you who read it will enjoyed. Tell me what you think and see you next time!


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